During my travels I have been subjected to numerous different types of accommodation from the 5 star luxury resorts in Thailand, to a damp and dingy box in Africa, and let’s not forget the 100 bed dorm in the Fijian islands.
I have never been adverse to dorm rooms, they are cheap they do the job and really how long do you usually spend in them when travelling? Beware though with the choice of a dorm room you do subject yourself to a whole world of new experiences. I like to think of it as a lottery, you could have the best night’s sleep, or you could have no sleep at all.
These experiences can range from the traditional,
- Couple having sex in the corner or,
- the loud European man snoring in the bunk next to you
to the completely outrageous such as,
- Fights breaking loose,
- backpacks being stolen, or even,
- an unknown getting into your bed.
I have so many stories about dorm rooms it could turn into one of the longest blogs I have ever written… I actually think I could write a book about what I have seen in dorm rooms!
One of the most vivid wandering memories I have regarding dorm rooms was whilst staying in Wake Up, a popular hostel in downtown Sydney. I had become somewhat of a resident in the dorm room, as was working in town and using the hostel for cheap accommodation while we looked for something more permanent. The majority of residents were of this nature, however we had a few additions coming and going every few days. The dorm was a 12 bed mixed with a huge communal space in the centre where sometimes we sat and played cards or had a few pre-party drinks. I had grown friendly with a Canadian girl called Carly who had a crazy Irish boyfriend called James who just happened to be sleeping in the bunk above me. James was around 21 years old, was well-built with a thick Irish accent.
Well one night James was the only absentee in the dorm, we had all been in since at least 11, the room was silent, except for the few heavy breathers. The door swung open, letting in the corridor light and illuminating the majority of the room. I stirred in my bunk and saw a dark silhouette of a man in the doorway, not surprised by this, my eyes adjusted to the darkness. The figure stood there for at least a minute in sheer anticipation, then started to move fast. James ran around each of the 6 bunk beds and slapped his hand against the bedpost thus vibrating the whole structure and waking everyone up. He then returned to the doorway and switched the light, on, off, on, off a number of times; this was his way of making sure we were all fully lucid and awake.
What followed was just hysterical; he leaped onto his forearms and rolled himself into the middle of the dorm room. Once in the centre he began to dance, not a usual dance but a seductive stripper dance, there was no music, there was no willing crowd, and it was just utterly horrifying. His clothes were flung in all sorts of directions whilst he was pulsating and gyrating in the centre of the room. By this time you could see that although we were all in some sort of shock, we couldn’t help but laugh and as much as I wanted to I just couldn’t look away. Everyone had their heads raised up out of their slumber and all were witnessing this traumatic but absolutely unbelievable event. Carly’s face was one of sheer horror, but she was just frozen and couldn’t say anything… By the time he got down to his boxers, I did the decent thing and looked away, but unfortunately that was not the end of it.
His boxers hit one of the girls peering out of her bunk square in the face, and then James was upon us, flapping his penis up and down for what felt like a lifetime in front of every bed separately. HORROR! Once finished he returned to the centre of the room took a bow, hit the light switch and in one athletic jump cleared my dorm bed into his.
Now that was unexpected and a completely unrealistic event, you just couldn’t make it up.
Sniggering to myself at the sheer audacity of the event, but also kind of reveling in the sheer experience side I closed my eyes and returned to my slumber.
Later the morning, I was rudely awoken to the sound of dripping; I hate that sound even to today… Yes on top of the extremely memorable performance James had subjected us too last night, he has also pissed (wet) himself in his sleep and droplets of it were hitting my bed, as they sunk through the sheets and mattress above. Luckily he was still breathing…
I moved to a vacant bed in the corner and rose early in the morning for work, still a bit horrified from the events of the night prior but also aware that it would make for a great Wandering Memory story one day. Unbelievably James never returned to the dorm, and I never saw Carly or him again.